honestly, i wasn’t even that very much excited about the camp, not knowing that things would happen quite exactly the opposite. :)

i guess that’s just how true love works.

a perfect love.

and i would never trade those three days doing any other thing.

not a chance.

those three days were the best days of my summer vacation, so far.

and surely, the next days will get better and better.

i don’t even know where to start. *insert infinite smileys here*

from day one to day three, i’ve experienced God work and speak in my heart.

i loved the morning devotions the most.

spending time with God, feeling him, marvelling over his great works, crying because you just feel so blessed and that you don’t deserve any of it, and the list goes on, are the best things you could do with your time.

atleast that’s what i realized for myself.

i learned a lot.

a whole lot.

and realized a lot of things about myself.

that i have a lot more growing up to do.

and that everything you feel will always be a choice for you to make.

that i’ve been spending my vacation further and further away from God as i spent my time over the most unimportant things.

that i’ve been ALWAYS afraid of everything.

that most of the time i chose to be sad and alone, because i liked the feeling.

and that i will always have mistakes but i would always end up coming back to him because honestly, i need Jesus more than anything or anyone else in the world.

and that decision should be made all over again everyday.

and that clinging onto this decision wouldn’t make living your life easier for you to live but that it would always be worth it.

ALWAYS. :)

and i know i will hurt Jesus again.

but i’m not giving Him up.

i can’t change me, but He can.

and He will.

AND THAT’S A DECISION I MAKE.

not because everyone else is doing it.

not because someone pushed me to it.

i’m doing it because i want to be with God more than anything else in the world.

because God made me feel so alive, that every morning always meant something.

because i know that i don’t have to force a smile on my face or feel afraid or sleep with the lights on anymore.

and when that time comes, as i’ve proved to God that i’ve been obeying him and loving him all my days, i’ll hug him as tight as i can, cry until my heart explodes of happiness and never let go.

it will never be easy.

and i know i will fail a lot of times.

but i’m sure it will all be worth it.

because i know that during those times that everybody, even myself, gave up on me, Jesus never did.

AND HE NEVER WILL. :)

and i can go and list all the things that i’ve heard and learned from the camp which i can’t do right now because i’m too overwhelmed. i didn’t even write a single thing from the lectures i had.

maybe because it’s not about that. it’s about God and how he can make me feel this hungry for him.

and it will always be Him.

and for Jesus, my true love, savior, king, father… *the list will always go on*

i’m yours. ALL YOURS. <3

*insert kukay here as she just shakes her head because there are so much to say*

excited to make disciples again. :D